Shy Guys: Sweet Cuties or Serial Rapists?



Shy Guys: Sweet Cuties or Serial Rapists?

Reserved. “Cute.” Mysterious.

Beware, ladies.

There is a song on the new Skillet CD that is sung from the view of one of these deplorable individuals. The opening to the song reads:

“I see you standing here But you're so far away Starving for your attention You don't even know my name

You're going through so much But I know that I could be the one to hold you”

Is it just me, or do these lyrics seem to be alluding to stalking? This isn’t the only song like this - radio airwaves are full of these kinds of semi-stalkerish songs. In the Skillet song, it sounds to me like this loser is checking out his crush from a distance, sneaking around in alley-ways and watching this poor girl’s every footstep



Okay maybe not - I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he goes to school with her or knows her from work. But still… why does he know so much about her life? Did he tap her phone? Maybe watched her type her email password once or something? Girls aren’t exactly known for Department-of-Defense-Strength-Passwords. Assuming he did any of this, he’s creepy. And probably a rapist.

Let’s be nice and say he’s not a rapist. Maybe he’s just weird. If he really cares so much about this girl, why doesn’t he just talk to her? Why does he have to put his “feelings” into song? Maybe he’s one of those band geeks. I hate band geeks.

What is the appeal to girls for this kind of guy?

I’ll tell you why. Because, for some reason, girls like the “sensitive”, “sweet”, “shy” guy. Calling someone like this a “guy” is a bit of a stretch but bear with me.

Girls like things to be unpredictable. They want excitement and will often go for the “bad boy type.” Some girls are turned off by the bad boy image because the girl is either too preppy or has dated that type of guy and ended up in the hospital with multiple broken bones and/or ruptured internal organs.

This type of chick doesn’t really know what she wants. But she sees this shy, serial rapist and thinks he probably is really good at talking about feelings. Girls like talking about feelings. They like crying. They want a guy that is “sensitive” to their feelings and will tell them everything is fine. In her mind, the fact that he is quiet and reserved automatically means he will be sensitive to the way she feels.

If only they knew the truth….

Most of these “sensitive types” are the same people from Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator.” All of the jerks on there were your generic “shy guy” until the Internet was invented (Thanks Al!). Now, thanks to thousands of chat-rooms, “these sensitive,” low self-esteem losers can “come to life” by talking to all kind of horny women (and girls) all day long. I say, stay online and away from all of the real, innocent girls.

I know what you’re thinking.

If you’re a guy this is coursing through your brain, “LOL DARYL HOW CAN I NOT BE ONE OF THESE LOSERZZ?!?!?!?”

Well, start by talking to girls. If you like a girl, ask her on a date. Or at least be friendly. Do NOT write songs and if you do, definitely don’t tell anyone. You’re creepy.

If you are of the female persuasion, you are probably asking, “AWW DARYL BUT LOL I LOVE ME SOME SWEET SHY CUTIES! THEY ARE SOOOO CUTE AND SWEET AND NICE AND HOTTTT OMG!”

Observe that pretty little gray vertical line to your right and click and drag until you can read the title of this blog. Then read until you get back to where you are now. Repeat as necessary.

And please… ladies… change your password to something besides your first crush or your favorite backstreet boy. Oh yeah, Lance Bass just came out of the closet.

Yes, I know. Shut up.